(SEMI-) HUMOROUS GUIDE TO FIVE UPPER PENINSULA COUNTIES

  Keweenaw County

Population density = 3.1 per square mile, plus tourists
Record snowfall = 395 inches or more
Average snowfall = 200 to 250 inches
Highest point = Mt. Horace Greeley ~ 1,490 feet
Lowest point = Lake Superior ~ 600 feet
Scenic wonders = Brockway Mtn., Estivant Pines, Mt. Bohemia, Eagle Harbor, Copper Harbor, Lake Superior
Worst plagues = BLACK FLIES, deer flies, alder, thorn brush
Soil features = Rock outcrops, fragipans, skeletal till
Night life = Ride snow machines from the White House in Mohawk to the Vansville Bar in Phoenix to the Mariner North in
    Copper Harbor.
Local cuisine = Prime rib buffet at the Old Country Haus in Kearsarge

 
Gogebic County

Population density = 16.4 per square mile
Record snowfall = 370 inches
Average snowfall = 150 to 240 inches
Highest point = Copper peak ~ 1,699 feet, tower ~ 2,000 feet
Lowest point = Lake Superior ~ 600 feet
Scenic wonders = Black River, Presque Isle River, Lake Superior, Sylvannia Tract, Cisco chain of lakes
Worst plagues = MOSQUITOES, wood ticks, black flies, quagmires
Soil features = Loamy-skeletal till, bedrock, fragipans
Night life = Hurley Wisconsin's red light district
Local cuisine = Cornish game hen at Indianhead Mtn. Resort
 

Ontonagon County

Population density = 6.8 per square mile, and falling
Record snowfall = 320 inches more or less
Average snowfall = 100 to 200 inches
Highest point = Government Peak ~ 1,850 feet
Low points = Porcupine Mtns., Lake Superior, Ontonagon River, Lake Gogebic
Worst plagues = MOSQUITOES, black flies, wood ticks, beaver dams, the dreaded Ontonagon Triangle*
Soil features = Clayey till, dissected terrain
Night life = Stubb's Bar in Ontonagon
Local cuisine = Tombstone pizza and Old Style at Jarvi's Bar

*The dreaded Ontonagon Triangle is a 10 square mile area in Ontonagon County in which at least 3 people have disappeared without a trace over the last 10 years.
 
 
Schoolcraft County

Population density = 7.0 per square mile
Record snowfall = 180 inches or so
Average snowfall = 60 - 100 inches, less-south, more-NW
Highest point = Seney swamp (actually Bass Lake ~ 924')
Lowest point = Seney swamp ~ 597 feet
Scenic wonders = Seney swamp, Indian Lake, Lake Michigan
Worst plagues = Mosquitoes, deer flies, alder
Soil features = Dry sand, wet sand, and muck
Night life = Ice fishing on Indian Lake
Local cuisine = Clyde's Colossal hamburger, at Clyde's
 

Alger County

Population density = 9.8 per square mile
Record snowfall = 280 inches or so
Average snowfall = 150-200 inches
Highest point = Laughing Whitefish Falls ~ 1,115 feet
Lowest point = Lake Superior ~ 600 feet
Scenic wonders = Grand Island, Pictured Rocks, AuTrain River
Worst plagues = Mosquitoes, deer flies
Soil features = Shallow bedrock, loamy and sandy till, sand
Night life = Canoe till sunset, then hit the Buckhorn Bar.
Local cuisne = Earthquake McGoon's ribeye steak dinner at The Dogpatch in Munising.

This material has been compiled for educational use only, and may not be reproduced without permission.  One copy may be printed for personal use.  Please contact Randall Schaetzl (soils@msu.edu) for more information or permissions.